Royal Treatment for "The King"

Born on June 28, 1491:
Henry VIII, King of England (1509-1547), founder of the Church of England.

Born on June 28, 1973:
Ian I, King of Useless Trivia, father of Crown Prince Liam, and superior to Henry in that he married right the first time ;)

King Ian is working today, but planning on a birthday evening with his Queen and the heir to the throne (we only have one bathroom so there's always a wait for the throne :)

Week 9

Another week has passed by and once again I must say my life is anything but boring. While Liam is napping nicely in his vibrating chair and Ian is watching Dateline, I am sipping Baileys on ice and recalling the happenings of the past few days. Lets start out with last night - yesterday we moved the crib into our bedroom and Liam graduated from bassinet to "big bed". The latest thing is that bumper pads are bad because they may cause suffocation - the alternative is that your kids arms and legs could potentially get stuck in the bars and you wake up to find a mini pretzel baby - I think I'll stick with the bumper pads thanks. Besides, they look nicer and I'm all about my baby sleeping in style. His first night was a huge success - he slept for 5 hours, followed by 4 hours, followed by 1.5 hours. I woke up a new person. It would have been the perfect night except for the 3:30am incident.....

5 hours without food equals a super hungry baby and some rock hard boobs - not a good combination. Mr. Hungry went to town at the breast buffet and once he came up for air, mommy diligently gave him a nice burp. Two seconds later the entire contents of the milk feast came up over my shoulder, down my back and into my underwear. Nothing like a warm wet waterfall of barf to wake you out of your sleepy stupor. Of course the entire side of my bed was completely soaked too but Mr. Mom stepped up to the plate, stripped the sheets and got some fresh bedding so I would not have to be banished to the couch. I am now bypassing my theory of needing body diapers for babies - what you really need is a jumbo roll of saran wrap. Saran wrap is cheap and sticks to everything - all you have to do is wrap your entire house, your baby and yourself and your kid can pee, poo and barf whenever and wherever it chooses. Either that or they need to invent a giant bubble for your baby to live in until it is potty trained. "Baby in a Bubble" could inflate or deflate for portability, would be easy to clean and if your baby fusses you could roll it around like a hampster in a wheel. I should be a millionaire with ideas like this!

Thursday was Liam's first set of shots day. A nice nurse took us into a tiny room and explained that he would not remember the pain for about 10 minutes while looking deeply into our eyes. All I wanted her to do shut up and get it over with. He had to have 2 shots in each leg and went from Mr. Happy to Mr. High Pitched Scream in 3 seconds flat. It was all over in less that a minute and Mr. Mom took him away for cuddling while I had to fill out one of those "how are you feeling" questionnaires to screen for post partum depression. If they had asked questions like "do you drink when your baby cries" or "have you thought about duct taping a soother to your baby's face" I would have failed. I still only scored 50% and I feel just fine. I think the questionnaire was rigged since I had to endure another 15 minutes of nurse "deep eyes" while listening to my baby fussing down the hallway. Once we did finally escape back home he slept for 5 1/2 hours while I held onto him - funny how you can feel so bad for doing something which is good in the long run. It's a cruel cruel world people.

Friday we got over our guilt and decided to buy a car. We ended up going with a new Mazda 3 GT with leather seats, sunroof, the works - we will be picking it up this week. Yes we may be parents but there is no way in hell you will ever get me into a minivan. My kid is riding to his soccer games in style - although there may be a few layers of saran wrap on the back seat!

Happy Father's Day!

Today was all about pampering Daddy and I was determined to make it good after surviving our now 8th week of parenthood. After whipping out a boob and feeding Liam his milk breakfast (what else?), I hopped to it in the kitchen and whipped up some waffles - the home made kind people - not the frozen ones (which is my usual style since cooking is not my forte) topped with fresh strawberries and complemented with fruit smoothies and tea (still have not managed to find a replacement coffee pot - we won't go there). After wolfing down the waffles - we still eat fast - Liam and I presented Daddy with a gift bag of goodies including a baby sleep book, Men's Health mag and custom made identical t-shirts. Daddy's says "If you think I'm Cute You Should See My Baby" and Liam's says "If You Think I'm Cute You Should See My Daddy". Both boys dressed up in their new t-shirts with matching blue jeans and white shoes. Looked too adorable! I can see many years of matching outfits on the horizon (snif snif). After breakfast Daddy & Liam relaxed on the couch and watched a movie and then we all ventured out to find some lunch. Following lunch daddy was sent off to the hair salon to have his hair cut and coloured - another surprise organized by your's truly. Emerging from the salon looking ultra spiffy with his new highlighted do - I took Daddy to do some shopping and get a couple of shirts. Yeah - for a first Father's Day I did it up right! To top off the day I currently have lasagna bubbling in the oven which will be served with some good old coconut rum. Can you say Super Mom? Well almost super mom - the lasagna came pre made from Costco.

Hard to believe Liam will be 2 months old on Thurs - we are celebrating by taking him for his first set of immunizations. That should be fun. He continues to be extremely fussy (sometimes all day long) and cries for hours on end. I have resorted to the fact that I simply have a fussy baby and there's nothing I can do about it. In fact, I'm not surprised since he is the mini me of Ian (I need someone to blame). For example - he cries (and screams) when we tighten his car seat straps (Ian hates his seat belt even though he has no choice but to buckle up), he cries in his swing (Ian hates rides that swing), he hates being wrapped up & always has his arms out (Ian hates having the bed covers on him) and he hates having his diaper changed (ok - I don't have an Ian comparison for that one). The list goes on! The only consolation is that he is still sleeping 4-5 hours at a time so we can all rejuvinate before the cycle of fussiness starts again. However, there are those occasional nights when he does not sleep and mommy goes a bit loopy. On Wed I decided to wash my hair and accidentally grabbed my face wash instead of the shampoo! I had the biggest Oil of Olay induced afro you could possibly imagine! I am so not good without my sleep.

Our little hefalump is really starting to fill out - from his chubby cheeks all the way down to his round tummy and pudgy arms and legs. He is due for his next weigh in on Thurs and we're guessing he will tip the scales at around 15 pounds. Mommy continues to produce some fine quality milk and he continues to grow like a little weed. Of course with the increase in size comes an increase in the poo production. We have created a poo machine. Yesterday's poo episode is worth an honourable mention: While in the middle of shopping for a new computer Mr. Fussy decided to do a whopper in his pants. I promptly excused myself from the sales guy and fled the store. The only place I could change my little crapper was the front seat of our car. Unfortunately the poo had smeared all over his entire back (right up to his neck!) & legs, and while desperately trying to clean him off (and creating a slippery poo slick on the plastic change mat), the poo ended up as a nice mustard stain on my skirt. Thank God for wipes & my baby powder scented plastic bags. Ian took one look at the situation and stayed the heck away. He's not good with poo to begin with! In my opinion they need to come up with diapers that are like full disposable bodysuits. Body diapers - "keeps your baby dry from head to toe".

On Friday I spent the day with two girls from our prenatal class who have also recently had babies. Was nice to hang out with people going through the same thing - makes you feel somewhat normal. Never thought I would be sitting in a breastfeeding circle while chatting about barf and poo like it was the weather. Liam looked like giant baby compared to the other two tikes - I have a feeling he is going to be a big boy! As long as he keeps smiling at me and melting my heart he can grow as big as he wants - ok maybe not as big as he wants - don't want a fat kid on my hands demanding Mcdonalds supersized happy meals!

Week 7

It's Monday evening and I just got back from saying goodbye to my mom & sister who are flying back to the Dominican Republic after almost 2 months of being here with us, so of course I am really sad (I've been used to a certain level of service you know) and seriously tempted to attack the leftover pie in the fridge. I will miss having them around so much, but it won't be long until we pay them a visit and have some fun in the sun. We need a break!

This has been a rather challenging week as Liam is now going through a colicky type phase which starts in the late afternoon and lasts until about 9pm. He goes from being happy baby to Mr. Grumpy in about 5 minutes flat and stays extremely fussy for at least 4-5 hours at a time. By 9pm we have a warm bath and then we are all out cold from sheer exhaustion. The trade off is that he sleeps in 4-5 hour stretches. Currently we have him in his Flutterby swing - we figure if we swing the crap out of him maybe it will calm him down (or make him throw up since the swing rocks really fast). Usually he can last about 2 minutes before starting to cry - since Ian does not like rides at the fair (they make him want to barf) I see a similarity. So we chalk up another Liam "un" favourite along with diaper changes, getting dressed, car seats, strollers and being swaddled. Yep - think that's about it. Thank goodness he still loves his soother (I now have 6 of them).

Yesterday I got my first real big smile - was a wonderful moment! This morning I got him to smile for at least a few seconds and have attached a photo to prove it. This evening he smiled at himself in the mirror (you would too if you were that cute). Of course he has been smiling at his daddy for a couple of weeks now (I'm trying not to feel jealous since I spend more time with the little bugger) but who's counting points? Speaking of points, Daddy chalked up a few on Friday after we spent 7 hours trying to deal with a particularly bad colick episode. It drove me to the bottle - literally. Ian came home with pasta, wine & a giant penaut butter chocolate pie. Score 5 points. However yesterday he broke the coffee pot. Minus 5 points. Having tea this morning just did not cut it for me.

Liam is growing like a weed & getting fatter by the minute. Some lady at the mall today thought he was 3 or 4 months old! I produce some damn fine high quality moo juice here people. Had to exchange a big pack of size 1 diapers for size 2 this weekend (the wet poos were starting to ooze n up his back and out the top - eeeeewwwww) so he is now on his third size of diaper. Our little man is no longer the fragile newborn he once was, he is a lovely chubby baby with lots of creases & some serious bowel movements. He looks at everything and focuses intently on our faces, he even watches T.V. for brief moments. I can see the whole "I'm not using the T.V. as a babysitter" idea going out the window - just like the soother. Baby Einstein DVD's here I come!!!!!

The definition of "redundant" - an alarm clock!

Liam is alert and wide awake every morning now without fail...only problem is that his internal alarm clock is set for around 4:30am! When the birdies start chirping and the first light of day dawns ever so slightly...BAM...he's awake and ready to play! Mommy has been pretty tired (understandably) from the night-time milk buffets, so Daddy (me, Ian, writing) has taken to getting up a wee bit earlier to entertain his royal highness the crown prince from 4-5'ish until I stagger off to work bleary-eyed in need of a coffee IV. The lil' fella is so darn cute at that time of day though. His little eyes are saucer-like as he takes in the new day, and he makes delightful little cooing noises and "talks" to his Daddy about his plans for the day! It is the highlight of my day (second only to coming home from work) and I wouldn't miss it for the world. However, 6:00am would be a little easier on the system!