Week 9

Another week has passed by and once again I must say my life is anything but boring. While Liam is napping nicely in his vibrating chair and Ian is watching Dateline, I am sipping Baileys on ice and recalling the happenings of the past few days. Lets start out with last night - yesterday we moved the crib into our bedroom and Liam graduated from bassinet to "big bed". The latest thing is that bumper pads are bad because they may cause suffocation - the alternative is that your kids arms and legs could potentially get stuck in the bars and you wake up to find a mini pretzel baby - I think I'll stick with the bumper pads thanks. Besides, they look nicer and I'm all about my baby sleeping in style. His first night was a huge success - he slept for 5 hours, followed by 4 hours, followed by 1.5 hours. I woke up a new person. It would have been the perfect night except for the 3:30am incident.....

5 hours without food equals a super hungry baby and some rock hard boobs - not a good combination. Mr. Hungry went to town at the breast buffet and once he came up for air, mommy diligently gave him a nice burp. Two seconds later the entire contents of the milk feast came up over my shoulder, down my back and into my underwear. Nothing like a warm wet waterfall of barf to wake you out of your sleepy stupor. Of course the entire side of my bed was completely soaked too but Mr. Mom stepped up to the plate, stripped the sheets and got some fresh bedding so I would not have to be banished to the couch. I am now bypassing my theory of needing body diapers for babies - what you really need is a jumbo roll of saran wrap. Saran wrap is cheap and sticks to everything - all you have to do is wrap your entire house, your baby and yourself and your kid can pee, poo and barf whenever and wherever it chooses. Either that or they need to invent a giant bubble for your baby to live in until it is potty trained. "Baby in a Bubble" could inflate or deflate for portability, would be easy to clean and if your baby fusses you could roll it around like a hampster in a wheel. I should be a millionaire with ideas like this!

Thursday was Liam's first set of shots day. A nice nurse took us into a tiny room and explained that he would not remember the pain for about 10 minutes while looking deeply into our eyes. All I wanted her to do shut up and get it over with. He had to have 2 shots in each leg and went from Mr. Happy to Mr. High Pitched Scream in 3 seconds flat. It was all over in less that a minute and Mr. Mom took him away for cuddling while I had to fill out one of those "how are you feeling" questionnaires to screen for post partum depression. If they had asked questions like "do you drink when your baby cries" or "have you thought about duct taping a soother to your baby's face" I would have failed. I still only scored 50% and I feel just fine. I think the questionnaire was rigged since I had to endure another 15 minutes of nurse "deep eyes" while listening to my baby fussing down the hallway. Once we did finally escape back home he slept for 5 1/2 hours while I held onto him - funny how you can feel so bad for doing something which is good in the long run. It's a cruel cruel world people.

Friday we got over our guilt and decided to buy a car. We ended up going with a new Mazda 3 GT with leather seats, sunroof, the works - we will be picking it up this week. Yes we may be parents but there is no way in hell you will ever get me into a minivan. My kid is riding to his soccer games in style - although there may be a few layers of saran wrap on the back seat!